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When you're in denial, there's nothing more annoying than someone wanting you to talk about things like feelings and fears. I've learned (still am) that when I'm in denial, Fear Dominates!
Following most traumatic occurences in my life, I tend to run from reality and masterfully devise the perfect escape route. A hide-out. Kinda like the treehouse i remember as a kid. I would retreat to that treehouse in a desperate attempt to protect myself from the evil that lurked all around me.
For me, Denial had become a matter of self-preservation, in addition to my overwhelming desire, my need to protect my family from more pain. More hurt. As far as I was concerned, the task that lay before me while daunting at times, was still something I could handle... alone. I mean, c'mon. I was a gymnast. I was strong. I was a survivor. I just wanted to spare everyone I loved from any more pain. I mean, I can handle it. I just couldn't stand seeing how much pain this whole thing was causing them.
However, in retrospect, I realize that by doing so, I created the proverbial situation of no one wanting to address the elephant in the room.
I've learned over the years, that at some point, in order to make it through - in order to Evolve - we must acknowledge the beast!
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