I have a young man that I have all but adopted serving in Iraq. I have come to understand some of the challenges facing veterans upon their return. I have no expertise in most of the challenges that they face. I do have experience in getting people ready to be hired. I have created a group of CEO's around the country that have made a commitment to real programming designed specifically to increase employment opportunities for returning vets.
I want to be clear about this initiative. We are not offering jobs. We are offering free workshops and training to returning vets. All of the CEO's in this group run organizations with revenues between 6 and 40 million in revenue. There is no fee involved. It is free. It is our way of paying back.
We are currently defining our mission. I would like to hear from returning vets about their personal challenges in employment. I could use feedback in the following three specific areas.
1. How many interviews have you had?
2. Did you get feedback other than generic responses?
3. Do you feel that you know what employers are looking for?
4. Have you participated in any recruiting skills programming?
5. What do you feel is keeping you unemployed?
I personally appreciate your service to our country. Your feedback will help us develop programming that meets the specific needs of our vets.
Best regards,
Robert Wagnon
Me during "Holy War" track on a live dvd release for VD Records.
Me a week after i got back from OEF in Jan , 2006
What do you do when after 2 1/2 years the pain gets worse and the marriage turns into a divorce. I am losing the house that my 2 step sons are living in. The whole reason i went to Iraq was to give 2 children that came from a very abusive family (Their Biological Father) now with their Mother them, a place to call home. I raised them, with their mother ( my ex-wife) as my own sons since they were babies. I toured Kosovo and then Iraq. I did this to make enough money to provide them a place to call home. I returned from Iraq and now my whole life is a complete failure.....I failed them!
The nightmares returned and the mood swings have worsened. I hate the person who I have become! I hear all the time that it will get easier.....im waiting.....nothing has gotten easier. In weeks, my 2 stepsons and their mother. will be homeless. The screwed up part is that I really would turn the clock back if i could. I am soooooooo lost and now work 7 days a week to put off the thoughts of reality!
So what should I do?
I just got diagnosed with PTSD.... I don't know how to feel about that. My doctor tells me that he would like me to get a CAT Scan because while I was in Iraq, I was blown up 6 times and 2 of those times my vehicle rolled over. Then on a seperate mission, I got a concusion from slaming my forehead into an inch and a half thick bullet proof windshield. He wants a CAT scan because there could be a possibility that I may have TBI.
I somewhat feel a little relieved because It would explain my vision and memory lose at times. I still get the headaches and major mood swings and I get all teary eyed once and awhile... I wish.....I could understand more. I still notice that people walk on egg shells when I am around and that bothers me.
Thank you for allowing me to vent here. I feel like your my family.
I am told that I am ruined for life! That Iraq changed me so bad, that I am nothing more then a hollow shell of the man I once was.
Just
one reason why.......
I was one of four Americans contracted as a PSD (Protective Security Detail) member for a Private Security Company in Iraq. I lived in what they call the "Red Zone". (This is one of those areas in Iraq that is not under direct control of the US Military......it is where the bad guys live!) I have conducted over 640 missions. Travelled from as far south as Najaf to as far north as Kurdistan and from Baghdad to as far west as Abu Kamal, Syria. I have seen, done, and watched things that I wish I never did. I have been blown up 7 times, ambushed by an insurgent group of at least 150 insurgents that was controlled by Muqtada al-Sadr and formed after Abu Musab al-Zarqawi was killed. And I was almost captured during that ambush. I have 3 confirmed kills by the US Military and the R.O.C. and lost 6 team mates....one of which was American who took my place on my mission while I was away. I fought Insurgents in gun fights side by side with the US Military.
When I returned home to America...I was either thrown to the curb, or I would get pathetic bullshit lines like...." I know what you're going through" as they pat you on the shoulder; or "You need to get over this and put it past you" with their stern approach; or they try to compare their pathetic life with what we experienced in Iraq..... Or, this is the best.... "Did you kill anyone”, they will ask with a fill of excitement as though they were asking if you won something at a carnival.
The problem with the contractors.....is that, “We” too, answered the call from our great President to fight for our flag, our freedom, and our country.”We" served our country in the same manner as our US Military troops. "We" fought side by side with them. A lot of us even saw more combat then the US Military troops...
YET;
"We" returned home to a country who wants nothing to do with us!! "We" returned home to a country that will NOT acknowledge us for what we did. "We" returned home to a country who won't even say "Thank You"!! "We" returned home to a country that is not ours anymore...... "We" returned home to a place that treats us like a plague, a cancer and all because they feel we made enough money to take care of these life long issues ourselves....!!
So now the money is gone and my own country who I thought I was doing right by, who I fought for, now will do nothing to help me with my headaches, my outburst of crying for no reason, my nightmares, my flashbacks, my mood swings, my depression, my skin rashes, my lesions and growths on my legs, or my symptoms of PTSD all stemming from IRAQ.....any yet as a US Military troop, All of my medications, all of my appointments and treatments and not to mention my Mortgage and my bills, etc., etc. are all being worked into every political agenda, major companies are giving Military troops all kinds of help.
So now when a contractor who toured Iraq sees all the compassion given to the US Military, all the open arms....and the assistance given to them, the pain and hurt intensify.... and he turns to a negative solution. Then maybe, because nobody will help him and he can't afford help on his own.....maybe then this contractor will ease the pain himself and self medicate, or start drinking all hours of the day; now with this comes the physical abuse to his loved ones, The mental abuse that causes his wife to call 911 because the contractor just went on a rampage and then when the police arrive they draw tasers and guns on him. The contractor then feels so hopeless that he enters his life of crime and either OD’s, commits suicide, goes to jail or gets killed.
You see. It wasn't about the money.... It was about, "Honor", "Valor", "Cohesion", "Unity", "Loyalty" It was, for me at least....A responsibility to my country to serve side by side with the worlds finest Military. I voluntarily gave up everything for my country and without question.....And now feel as though I don't belong here anymore.....I feel like I am not wanted in this country.
Now, as for the money: The money has been gone to take care of my responsibilities on the home front (my children, my wife and my bills )before I even came back home!!!
The pain will never go away!
The men and women who fought in Iraq will always be dear in my heart. I will always honor them. No matter whether a Military Troop or a Contractor......You will always be my family.
| c.2009 The Courage Community Foundation, a registered 501c(3) non-profit organization |
