As we were sitting in the office of the command's clinical psychologist
at Fort Jackson, South Carolina, I had a moment that made me giggle out
loud. And what I said to the clinical psychologist who was part of the
team that brought us in, was, "So what you're saying is that basically,
it was a snowball's chance in hell that The Power of Play and the US
Army would be here working together...with Richard and I sitting in
front of you."
And she said, "Yep. That's about right. You are the snowball, Rahla, and this is hell!"
Wow!
From our initial "read-ahead" white paper (which was a new term for us)
back in December, 2007, to yesterday's acknowledgment from the Colonel
who was the other part of the team who hired us, we are now taking a
deep breath to share with you what a unique, powerful, creative,
laughter filled, exhausting, miraculous journey this intersection in
the history of The Power of Play and The Power of Play Approach has
been.
Our goal is to work with returning veterans who are suffering with the
suddenly broken life that PTSD, deep brain trauma and the amputation of
limbs brings. We know The Power of Play Approach works, because of our
experience in the 1980's with veterans from another war - the Vietnam
war.
At that time we were working at a support center for homeless and
mentally ill adults in Santa Monica, called Step Up On Second. One day
a couple of Vietnam veterans showed up in my class. One, in
particular, was hesitant to participate. On the spot I began an
exercise that has become a staple in The Power of Play repertoire of
games. I asked him to tell a true story from his life that had
something to do with a pair of shoes. His story was inspiring,
poignant and wonderful. He told of how he had been a Rhodes Scholar
and was on his way to Oxford, when he went to Paris for a short
holiday. He found a pair of shoes in a small shop that made him feel
like a king when he put them on. He blew his holiday budget to buy the
shoes, but they were worth it.
The smile and openness of this man who moments before had been closed
off and shut down, told me that something important had happened. Soon
other vets were showing up in my class. The reason? They said they
heard they could tell their stories there. They also said that my
class was one of the few places where they could laugh and enjoy some
humor, instead of the usual gripe and complain sessions that they were
used to.
Now, with a new war and a new wave - make that tidal wave - of veterans returning, I know we have an important job to do. Our
Approach helps people discover or rediscover their creativity,
authenticity and natural sense of humor. That practice has health
benefits that science is now validating. But more importantly, I
believe our fun and easy methods bring people - whether they be dealing
with cancer, chronic illness or deep brain trauma - to a familiar place
within themselves that they may have forgotten about. It is kind of
like going through your old junk drawer and finding some treasure you
haven't thought about in decades. You are reminded of who you were
then, with all the feelings of excitement and anticipation that each
adventure in life brings. It is almost like meeting an old friend on
the street. Only the old friend is you!
I am told that I am ruined for life! That Iraq changed me so bad, that I am nothing more then a hollow shell of the man I once was.
Just
one reason why.......
I was one of four Americans contracted as a PSD (Protective Security Detail) member for a Private Security Company in Iraq. I lived in what they call the "Red Zone". (This is one of those areas in Iraq that is not under direct control of the US Military......it is where the bad guys live!) I have conducted over 640 missions. Travelled from as far south as Najaf to as far north as Kurdistan and from Baghdad to as far west as Abu Kamal, Syria. I have seen, done, and watched things that I wish I never did. I have been blown up 7 times, ambushed by an insurgent group of at least 150 insurgents that was controlled by Muqtada al-Sadr and formed after Abu Musab al-Zarqawi was killed. And I was almost captured during that ambush. I have 3 confirmed kills by the US Military and the R.O.C. and lost 6 team mates....one of which was American who took my place on my mission while I was away. I fought Insurgents in gun fights side by side with the US Military.
When I returned home to America...I was either thrown to the curb, or I would get pathetic bullshit lines like...." I know what you're going through" as they pat you on the shoulder; or "You need to get over this and put it past you" with their stern approach; or they try to compare their pathetic life with what we experienced in Iraq..... Or, this is the best.... "Did you kill anyone”, they will ask with a fill of excitement as though they were asking if you won something at a carnival.
The problem with the contractors.....is that, “We” too, answered the call from our great President to fight for our flag, our freedom, and our country.”We" served our country in the same manner as our US Military troops. "We" fought side by side with them. A lot of us even saw more combat then the US Military troops...
YET;
"We" returned home to a country who wants nothing to do with us!! "We" returned home to a country that will NOT acknowledge us for what we did. "We" returned home to a country who won't even say "Thank You"!! "We" returned home to a country that is not ours anymore...... "We" returned home to a place that treats us like a plague, a cancer and all because they feel we made enough money to take care of these life long issues ourselves....!!
So now the money is gone and my own country who I thought I was doing right by, who I fought for, now will do nothing to help me with my headaches, my outburst of crying for no reason, my nightmares, my flashbacks, my mood swings, my depression, my skin rashes, my lesions and growths on my legs, or my symptoms of PTSD all stemming from IRAQ.....any yet as a US Military troop, All of my medications, all of my appointments and treatments and not to mention my Mortgage and my bills, etc., etc. are all being worked into every political agenda, major companies are giving Military troops all kinds of help.
So now when a contractor who toured Iraq sees all the compassion given to the US Military, all the open arms....and the assistance given to them, the pain and hurt intensify.... and he turns to a negative solution. Then maybe, because nobody will help him and he can't afford help on his own.....maybe then this contractor will ease the pain himself and self medicate, or start drinking all hours of the day; now with this comes the physical abuse to his loved ones, The mental abuse that causes his wife to call 911 because the contractor just went on a rampage and then when the police arrive they draw tasers and guns on him. The contractor then feels so hopeless that he enters his life of crime and either OD’s, commits suicide, goes to jail or gets killed.
You see. It wasn't about the money.... It was about, "Honor", "Valor", "Cohesion", "Unity", "Loyalty" It was, for me at least....A responsibility to my country to serve side by side with the worlds finest Military. I voluntarily gave up everything for my country and without question.....And now feel as though I don't belong here anymore.....I feel like I am not wanted in this country.
Now, as for the money: The money has been gone to take care of my responsibilities on the home front (my children, my wife and my bills )before I even came back home!!!
The pain will never go away!
The men and women who fought in Iraq will always be dear in my heart. I will always honor them. No matter whether a Military Troop or a Contractor......You will always be my family.
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